Out the door..
Jun. 17th, 2005 10:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
artemis42Well, Batman was highly enjoyable. Had some good discussions about it and everything. Stayed up late reading and finishing up the calligraphy projects, and conked out on the couch after watching St. Elmo's Fire for the first time, thanks to Mer.
Well, I didn't quite get home in time to get everything together before I had to leave to get to the co-op on time, so here I am getting all manner of last-minute scrambling done, and I figure posting is a good way to let off some stress. As soon as I am done this, I head up to the Warfield House to work on the last bits that need tending to for the wedding tomorrow, and then I sleep.
I think there's still a lot of things I'm processing at the moment, and not all of them make sense to me. I've been busy and stressed, yes.. but I've also been alternating between a ton of different emotions. Happy for J&A pulling all this together mostly by themselves, glad that I can be helpful when needed, exhausted by all the other stuff swirling in my head.
I've been really withdrawn, morose, even verging on depressive this past week.. lots of beloveds on my mind. Getting to see Jesse at Haven on Tuesday helped to take my mind off the proverbial brick wall I'd been banging it against over another, as it was so good to see him and talk about stuff.. but it also served to remind me just how much I miss him. Makes sense, I guess.. our engagement was brief, but so wonderful while our enthusiasm was new. And here I'm involved in my partners' wedding tomorrow. Bound to bring up old wounds, even on a subconscious level.. I just wish I had the time to sit and write and sort through it all.
I'll be fine, though. Nothing to do but look back, not dwell too long on what could have been, but be grateful for what it has taught me about myself and others, as well as the strength it's given me. I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't loved and lost as I have.
Blessings.
-Me.
Well, I didn't quite get home in time to get everything together before I had to leave to get to the co-op on time, so here I am getting all manner of last-minute scrambling done, and I figure posting is a good way to let off some stress. As soon as I am done this, I head up to the Warfield House to work on the last bits that need tending to for the wedding tomorrow, and then I sleep.
I think there's still a lot of things I'm processing at the moment, and not all of them make sense to me. I've been busy and stressed, yes.. but I've also been alternating between a ton of different emotions. Happy for J&A pulling all this together mostly by themselves, glad that I can be helpful when needed, exhausted by all the other stuff swirling in my head.
I've been really withdrawn, morose, even verging on depressive this past week.. lots of beloveds on my mind. Getting to see Jesse at Haven on Tuesday helped to take my mind off the proverbial brick wall I'd been banging it against over another, as it was so good to see him and talk about stuff.. but it also served to remind me just how much I miss him. Makes sense, I guess.. our engagement was brief, but so wonderful while our enthusiasm was new. And here I'm involved in my partners' wedding tomorrow. Bound to bring up old wounds, even on a subconscious level.. I just wish I had the time to sit and write and sort through it all.
I'll be fine, though. Nothing to do but look back, not dwell too long on what could have been, but be grateful for what it has taught me about myself and others, as well as the strength it's given me. I wouldn't be who I am now if I hadn't loved and lost as I have.
Blessings.
-Me.
