Wicked old school. *tee hee*
Dec. 15th, 2005 05:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
artemis42For some unknown reason, this poked at me and asked me to post it before I go to sleep.. I got this in high school, and it was passed around chorus classes and Roundtable rehearsal to much giggling. I really miss singing.. I think a Karaoke night is in order again soon..... :)
Later.
-Me.
--------------------------------------------
Special Rules For Singers
or
Why Music Directors get “That Way”
1) Make sure the other members understand that you are doing them a great honor by singing in the group, and be sure that they properly appreciate the superiority of your work over theirs.
2) Never arrive at rehearsals on time. The director has nothing to think about, and it amuses him to guess whether or not you are coming.
3) When order is called for, make as much noise as possible in order to attract the greatest amount of attention. Drop your folder, mix up your music, and as soon as the singing has begun, ask which piece is being practiced.
4) Supply the director with a list of your favorite selections; insist on their being used, and never sing in any number which you do not care for. While it is being sung tell the others how ugly it is.
5)Do not wait for the other singers to begin, but assert your independence by always starting ahead of everyone else. This will, of course, annoy the director, but that is what he is there for.
6) Sing the notes correctly, but never mind the words. Remember that it entertains the audience to guess what you are trying to sing.
7) If the piano has an interlude, occupy it by telling your neighbor what a perfectly awful voice Miss Arpeggio has. If you are not finished when it is time to sing, the pianist will be glad to wait for you. If she does not wait, tell her afterwards how perfectly horrid she is.
8) Do not allow anyone to sing louder than you. Choir rehearsals are held to see who can sing the loudest, and many delightful effects are obtained by each singer trying to prevent anyone else from being heard.
9) Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the director uses a pitch-pipe, make known your preference for the piano...and vice-versa.
10) Loudly clear your throat during pauses (altos are trained to do this from birth).
11) Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that you don’t have any music.
12) Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.
13) When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is written. This is excellent ear-training for the director.
14) While the last piece is being sung, put on your wraps and prepare to leave. That is what the last piece is for.
Later.
-Me.
--------------------------------------------
Special Rules For Singers
or
Why Music Directors get “That Way”
1) Make sure the other members understand that you are doing them a great honor by singing in the group, and be sure that they properly appreciate the superiority of your work over theirs.
2) Never arrive at rehearsals on time. The director has nothing to think about, and it amuses him to guess whether or not you are coming.
3) When order is called for, make as much noise as possible in order to attract the greatest amount of attention. Drop your folder, mix up your music, and as soon as the singing has begun, ask which piece is being practiced.
4) Supply the director with a list of your favorite selections; insist on their being used, and never sing in any number which you do not care for. While it is being sung tell the others how ugly it is.
5)Do not wait for the other singers to begin, but assert your independence by always starting ahead of everyone else. This will, of course, annoy the director, but that is what he is there for.
6) Sing the notes correctly, but never mind the words. Remember that it entertains the audience to guess what you are trying to sing.
7) If the piano has an interlude, occupy it by telling your neighbor what a perfectly awful voice Miss Arpeggio has. If you are not finished when it is time to sing, the pianist will be glad to wait for you. If she does not wait, tell her afterwards how perfectly horrid she is.
8) Do not allow anyone to sing louder than you. Choir rehearsals are held to see who can sing the loudest, and many delightful effects are obtained by each singer trying to prevent anyone else from being heard.
9) Never be satisfied with the starting pitch. If the director uses a pitch-pipe, make known your preference for the piano...and vice-versa.
10) Loudly clear your throat during pauses (altos are trained to do this from birth).
11) Wait until well into a rehearsal before letting the conductor know that you don’t have any music.
12) Look at your watch frequently. Shake it in disbelief occasionally.
13) When possible, sing your part either an octave above or below what is written. This is excellent ear-training for the director.
14) While the last piece is being sung, put on your wraps and prepare to leave. That is what the last piece is for.
