How not to have a successful afternoon.

Step 1: Park your car in an area scheduled for street cleaning without noticing the sign, so that your car is towed at 8am, and when you leave to head for work in VT at noon and your car is not there, you too can have that nice sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Step 2: Make sure once you've set out to retrieve your impounded car, that you have no idea whatsoever where you are going and stumble about confusedly while wearing a spiky jacket and a sullen expression, making anyone who might have thought you were a tourist simply ignore you.

Step 3: Stay on the correct bus a bit too long, thanks to step 2, and end up transferring to another, where the friendly driver points you in the correct direction towards the big lot where your car is waiting for you.

Step 4: Shell out exorbitant towing fee.

Step 5: Upon returning to the street you were originally parked on, so as to load your car up and leave, that you might possibly get to work, you must now lock your keys in your car. Make sure ahead of time that you have no spare to insure maximum levels of helplessness, frustration and self-loathing.

Step 6: Have the helpful garage guy get the wire stuck in your drivers' side door while attempting to unlock the vehicle to retrieve your keys. Call tow truck, only to get the door open just before they arrive. Proceed to leave, only to sit in rush hour traffic on Route 2 for an hour.

You now have the recipe for a thoroughly unsatisfying day. Stir gently.

I'm off to Amherst to see if I can't salvage what's left of this evening.

Later.

-Me.