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Mixed bag of a day, really.
Aug. 4th, 2005 04:25 amGot up reasonably early, for me. Got into the shower and headed for work with enough time to hit the pet supply place in Brattleboro and buy food for Emerald and Murphy before my shift began. On the way, I stopped to investigate a place on Rt. 5 in Deerfield that caught my eye as I went past it the first day I took that road to work, avoiding the traffic snags on 91 with all the construction. A sign had gone up for "Dr. Spooky's Animal Museum", but the place was either long gone, or still being created and not open yet. Since I'd left myself enough time, and I noticed the crew there working on the place, I got a chance to stop and talk to them. Seems there will be a live animal exhibit in a haunted house-style atmosphere right down the road from where I live. Talked to the owner, just to see if they might need some help, and mentioned that I'd worked at Haunted Happenings, as it was pretty relevant.. turns out he visited it several times all those years ago, and he's been doing "haunted" stuff for a while. I may end up going over again before they open in September and assisting with setup, lighting, that sort of thing.. I'll give him a call in a week or two and see if the track lighting has come in yet. Kind of nifty.. I'm not getting too excited, as it's a small operation more geared towards children than gory scares, but it's something closer to what I used to really enjoy, and anything that can supplement my income is a great idea. So, we'll see..
It did manage to boost my energy and put me in a great mood for the rest of the evening in VT.
Talked with my mom and my sister for a while once I'd gotten home.. seems my fears for Gramma were about on target. She's out of the hospital and been transferred to the nursing home my aunt Nancy works at to give the leg a chance to heal and see whether any of the tendons can knit themselves together, or at least stabilise enough to do a knee replacement. Good that Nancy's there, both to give her a familiar face, and make sure she gets the best care possible.. but she'll be in bed for at least six weeks, and we don't know what's going to happen with the flower shop. She's already getting depressed, and my mom said that it really doesn't look good. I'm going to go down to see her as soon as I can. I don't want her to feel alone, to lose hope or let go her fighting spark. The store's the only thing she's had.. without that, she may begin to feel completely cut off from life. I hope she can find a way to turn this from a tragedy into an opportunity for further growth, healing and connection to her family.
I'm trying to keep the worry and fear from overwhelming me. I've been reminded to worry only about that which I can control.. in some way, I know this... but I cannot ignore or shove aside the way I feel.. worry is different from emotion and concern in that worry is a mental mind loop that goes nowhere and does no one any good. On the other hand, allowing myself to feel what I'm feeling, then process and get on with my day is perfectly healthy and human. Am I dwelling on my fears by acknowledging them? No.
I am going to give myself the space to deal with this in my own way and my own time.
If you're near me and you want to help.. remind me of the things I'm passionate about. Let me spin stories for you and rant with me tangentially for hours, as I've been craving to do. Ask me to show you my artwork and explain it to you. Come in and sit with me. Be where I am in compassion without trying to yank me into wherever you would like me to be. That will help. Understand that I may have to bail on plans we've made.. family comes first. I'll still try to be there for you if you need me.. but I also need to be there for myself right now.
Tomorrow brings meetings at the co-op in the afternoon to discuss the policy manual with the staff now that it's been approved, printed and distributed. Then an evening shift in the deli. Friday will be spent in Brattleboro, as I finally get to go to Gallery Walk for the first time in nearly 2 years. There's an opening exhibit of the work of Vermont's comic artists at the Museum, and I've been looking forward to it for a while. Then a midnight showing of The Princess Bride in Hadley. Saturday should involve a gathering of friends with J&A, provided nothing cataclysmic occurs.
Off to sleep now.
Later.
-Me.
It did manage to boost my energy and put me in a great mood for the rest of the evening in VT.
Talked with my mom and my sister for a while once I'd gotten home.. seems my fears for Gramma were about on target. She's out of the hospital and been transferred to the nursing home my aunt Nancy works at to give the leg a chance to heal and see whether any of the tendons can knit themselves together, or at least stabilise enough to do a knee replacement. Good that Nancy's there, both to give her a familiar face, and make sure she gets the best care possible.. but she'll be in bed for at least six weeks, and we don't know what's going to happen with the flower shop. She's already getting depressed, and my mom said that it really doesn't look good. I'm going to go down to see her as soon as I can. I don't want her to feel alone, to lose hope or let go her fighting spark. The store's the only thing she's had.. without that, she may begin to feel completely cut off from life. I hope she can find a way to turn this from a tragedy into an opportunity for further growth, healing and connection to her family.
I'm trying to keep the worry and fear from overwhelming me. I've been reminded to worry only about that which I can control.. in some way, I know this... but I cannot ignore or shove aside the way I feel.. worry is different from emotion and concern in that worry is a mental mind loop that goes nowhere and does no one any good. On the other hand, allowing myself to feel what I'm feeling, then process and get on with my day is perfectly healthy and human. Am I dwelling on my fears by acknowledging them? No.
I am going to give myself the space to deal with this in my own way and my own time.
If you're near me and you want to help.. remind me of the things I'm passionate about. Let me spin stories for you and rant with me tangentially for hours, as I've been craving to do. Ask me to show you my artwork and explain it to you. Come in and sit with me. Be where I am in compassion without trying to yank me into wherever you would like me to be. That will help. Understand that I may have to bail on plans we've made.. family comes first. I'll still try to be there for you if you need me.. but I also need to be there for myself right now.
Tomorrow brings meetings at the co-op in the afternoon to discuss the policy manual with the staff now that it's been approved, printed and distributed. Then an evening shift in the deli. Friday will be spent in Brattleboro, as I finally get to go to Gallery Walk for the first time in nearly 2 years. There's an opening exhibit of the work of Vermont's comic artists at the Museum, and I've been looking forward to it for a while. Then a midnight showing of The Princess Bride in Hadley. Saturday should involve a gathering of friends with J&A, provided nothing cataclysmic occurs.
Off to sleep now.
Later.
-Me.
