Suckitude.

I did not want to sleep last night. I sat and reread Kushiel's Dart until about 5am, then slept until it was time for me to go to work. I hate how sticky I felt upon waking, lethargic and irritable. Then the cramping kicked in. Fun.
Went to work anyway, made it through ok. Hit a raccoon on the highway on the way home. Nothing I could really do, the poor thing decided it was a great idea to scoot back in front of my car instead of continuing to amble forward to the relative safety of the median. I still feel sick inside.
Upon walking through the door at home this evening, all the desire I had to get working on all the things I've been getting behind on vanished in a wave of humid air. I'm 2 weeks behind on eBay stuff, I've got laundry that desperately needs doing, lest I begin to re-wear socks, work to be done on my dress for the wedding I'll be attending on Saturday, and dinner to have in there somewhere.
And I don't want to do much of anything beyond having a fan on me and staring at the more interesting spots on the ceiling. Maybe more of my book.
*sigh*

I work tomorrow... the long shift, then head to Noho and maybe to Haven, meet with Kit on Wed. before work, sit somewhere and twiddle my thumbs on Thursday, work on Friday and then straight to Charlemont for the weekend before work again on Sunday evening.

Maybe I'll have some cereal for dinner. I don't care, as long as it requires minimal effort, and is cold.

Later.

-Me.

The first poem I opened the book to.

Choosing and Total Submission

A philosophically minded thief was shaking down fruit
in an orchard when the owner

came by. "Have you no reverence for divine commandments?"
"But look at this abundance!

I am just the agent of its enjoyment." The owner tied the
man to a fruit tree and began

beating him. "This is a simple, uncomplicated cudgel. I am
merely the instrument of its justice."

"Wait! You're right. I recant the necessitarianism. There
is free will. We do

have choices! Please stop!" Everyone has the power to
choose, because the creator

chose to create, so that freedom is innate. And this is
the extraordinary truth:

every human choice bows like a slave in submission to
the absolute's creative

will, yet this does not deprive us of freedom or of taking
responsibility for what

we choose! You might get clever and say, "My doubting
God's existence was

willed by God." Only half true. You also chose to doubt.

-Rumi